Adventure bound, JFK style.

I left work at 4:15 on Thursday, hauling my rolling suitcase, a bag of cupcakes, and my carry-on bag. As I made my way along 36th St toward the E train stop at Penn, I came to the irritated conclusion that my bag is not built for city wheeling. I need something with better shocks. This bag was built for smooth sailing - I need the luggage equivalent of the way that cars are built for New Orleans streets.

I then had the fun of shoving my way through the turnstile, but did make up for the "issues" with the fact that the train wasn't crowded at all.

An hour and change later, I finally arrived at JFK. I got through security, found out that my flight was delayed (shock), and then found out that I was one of the lucky ones who got to take a shuttle bus to the "temporary" terminal. They tried to make up for the fact that we were in what amounts to the airport version of a porta-potty by offering free wireless - which would've been awesome, had I had a laptop. Whatever.

The plane finally arrived from Boston, and we boarded. I also discovered that my fellow passengers missed the lesson on lining up when they were in kindergarten, because it was a total free for all. I finally made it to my seat, and found two Tourists (yes, it requires capitalization in this case) hovering in my row. The guy? Clad in bad jeans, a ratty tshirt, and (I kid you not) a shark-tooth necklace. I looked at them blankly.

"This is me..."

"Oh. We had to put our suitcases further back. So we're just waiting until there's a break in the line to move back up."

(they didn't move. and, as you might imagine, there was not a break in the line coming anytime soon)

"OK... well, I kind of need to get out of the aisle, or you're never going to find this purported break in the line."

(shark tooth Tourist made a run for it and made it)

His wife is apparently That Woman who wants an engraved invitation every time she has to pull out into traffic. Twenty minutes later, she finally walked up to her seat when I shot a pleading look at a flight attendant and she held the line up.

And then we taxied. And then we sat. And we kept sitting. And the Special People on the flight began to emerge and make it clear that the rules didn't apply to them as the flight attendants made announcements.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to remind you that we are on a live runway. We need all passengers to remain in their seats with their seatbelts on. Thank you."

(two minutes later)

"Ladies and gentlemen, we again remind you that you must remain seated at this time. Thank you."

(one minute later)

"All passengers must remain in their seats, with no exception. This applies to ALL PASSENGERS ON THIS PLANE."

(those of us at the front crane our heads around and discover that 3 or 4 idiots are standing up in the aisle, completely oblivious to the announcements directed toward them. in an effort to see just how entitled they feel, we continue to stare at them from the front of the plane while making snarky comments)

"EVERYONE NEEDS TO SIT DOWN, RIGHT NOW!!!"

(they finally sat)

A long while later, we landed in Austin (a little over an hour behind schedule). I stood up immediately, desperate to get off of the plane. And I was immediately knocked back into my seat (not kidding) by shark tooth Tourist, who was SPRINTING down the aisle to his suitcases.

Dumbfounded, I looked at the guy sitting across the aisle. He was laughing and said "I had a feeling that was going to happen."

My fellow passengers, as annoyed by the couple as I was, pulled together and blocked the guy from sprinting back up the aisle to get off of the plane as quickly as possible. Bless those people.